Review: THUNDERCATS: THE RETURN

THUNDERCATS: THE RETURN

Issues 1-5

Story(Arc) Name : The Return

Written by Ford Gilmore; Penciled by Ed Benes

Wildstorm

We shall how Transformers did at the start of their new ongoing. Now, we found another classic property to face them. With their reemergence to be seen this fall in a brand new anime, the Thundercats seemed perfect. So, even through Wildstorm is now defunct but this seemed like a good starting point in Thundercats comics. So until there is a brand new Thundercats ongoing, we will look at the Return and see how it stacks up.

So we have Transformers: For Mankind/Things Fall Apart vs. Thundercats: The Return!!!

         Vs.    The book starts that furry little shit, I mean, Snarf, is going through a tomb and looks scared. Really, really scared. And seemingly, schizophrenic. Actually, Snarf was talking to a book. Yes. A hardcover book. A book that Snarf opens and flips through because . . . it’s one of the Twilight book. End of review.

            Syyyyyykkkkkkkkeeeee!!! Furry bitch, I mean, Snarf opens the book and out comes a non-homosexual looking Lion-O. Seriously, Lion-O just pops up out of the book like its nothing . . . well not quite. Lion-O had two Thunderian fan boys came out there with him. Lion-O said only 3 words, roared and then killed his two playmates before speaking to Snarf. All I can say is DAMN!

            Lion –O is happy to see Snarf when we find out that it has been 5 years since the previous miniseries. And honestly, nothing from the last mini mattered as Snarf gives the readers a synopsis of what had happened before. Before that, Lion-O is surprised 5 years has pasted because time in the book, known as the Book of Omens, was supposed to run faster, as the Lord of the Thundercats admits that its been 5 years inside the book but should have only been about a few days in regular reality. Hmm . . . hyperbolic chamber much?  Yet Snarf narrates the happenings of Thundera since Lion-O went into the Book of Omens. Why did he go? For special training. Well, at least we got Lion-O willing to kill his own kind without hesitation cause of it. 

            So Snarf tells how the rest of the Thundercats did there best against Mumm-Ra and the Mutants but the combination of an entire army of Mutants from Plundarr along with Mumm-Ra’s new powers overwhelmed them and Thundera was systematically took down the Thunderians and the Thundercats to the point they get enslaved with Pantro putting up the most fight agains Mumm-Ra. To hit home the total, devastating defeat of  New Thundera, Lion-O feasts his eyes on a 2 page spread of Thundera looking like a desert in Egypt with statues of Mumm-Ra. Lion-O is visibly upset and then the love child of a bear, a cat and a bitch . . . oh I mean Snarf tells Lion-O that Mumm-Ra has become soooooo powerful that the Ancient Spirits of Evil are now his bitch. Wait . . .WHAT?! Lion –O says he doesn’t care as he will find the other Thundercats, which Snarf said most are enslaved. Starting with using the Eye of Thundera in order to use site beyond sight in order to find Panthro . . . who is in the slave mines. Lion-O swears to find and reform the Thundercats and take his rightful place as their Lord. Hmm . . . yes. After all that, which lasts the majority of the first issue, we get a scene of Mumm-Ru looking happy cause of a challenge in Lion-O and that he is finally glad that Snarf found the key to the Book of Omens. Oh hell. After grinning with his dog, Mumm-Ra calls for his slaves who turn out to be adult versions of Wily Kit and Wily Kat.

            Next we get only a small sentence saying that something happened to Bengali and we move to Lion-O in the mines, off to rescue Panthro. And Lion-O again is shown to be a compete and utter badass as he single-handedly takes down some guards, even snapping the neck of a Monkian. DAMN! As Lion-O enters the mine, Mumm-Ra and his slaves (Wily Kit & Wily Kat) watch as they attend to him and watch Mumm-Ra boast about how he is going to crush Lion-O, even against the advice from the Ancient Spirits of Evil. Wow, this reminds me of the show. Lion-O goes into the mines and frees Panthro after Panthro tearfully welcomes back the Lord of the Thundercats and gets rescued. Um . . . wow. Never thought, Panthro . . . crying? The other Thunderians agree to cover Lion-O’s & Panthro’s retreat, against Panthro’s better wishes. As they exit the mine, Lion-O promises to honor the sacrifice of the others and free Thundera while Panthro disagrees. The Thundercat declares that this time they will KILL Mumm-Ra once and for all. Which, if I can take a moment, will say that Lion-O earlier vowed to not give Mumm-Ra the mercy he did in the past. Wow. So the Thundercats have become murders?! Yay!!!

            We then get something kinda . . . disturbing. Wily Kit is there, looking like a furries wet dream as an adult, scrubbing the back of Mumm-Ra. And as luck will have it, we find that as the person slaves who gave themselves over to Mumm-Ra, they are indeed treated better than the others. Yet, we find that Wily Kit has been Mumm-Ra’s personal concubine. 

 Let that sink in for a minute.

Mumm-Ra fucking an adult Wily Kat.

Necrophiliacs and Furries must be having a field day with that image. Now excuse me a second while I am about to lose my lunch . . .on to my computer.

            And once that image dies, we get more mocking from Mumm-Ra on how disappointed Lion-O would be if he found that Wily Kit and Kat have given themselves over to Mumm-Ra, unlike Cheetara, which we find out is in the mines. He continues to mock the now adult Thunderkittens rebandage him; also saying how Cheetara now wants to kill Lion-O as much as Panthro must want to kill him and laughs. We find that Cheetara is supposedly in the care of the mutants. Then we see the mutants who have Tygra enslaved doing plans for . . . wait a minute. TYGRA! What happened with Cheetara?! Moving on. The Mutants are wondering how to leave Thundera to go back to Plundarr cause they are tired of Mumm-Ra while they try to figure out how to make Tygra’s whip work for them. Tygra answers that the whip will ONLY work for a Thunderian. For his trouble, Jakalman whips Tygra with a regular whip. Vultureman calls Slithe Mumm-Ra’s lapdog, which enrages the leader of the Mutants. Slithe goes on about how POWERFUL Mumm-Ra is now and how that their new Castle Plundarr is nothing but a prison. There is no escape from Mumm-Ra according to Slithe but they will enjoy tormenting the Thunderians. Slithe turns to Monkian who is salivating. At what . . . at Cheetara; who is barely got any clothes on hear cause they have been torn apart and she is chained to the wall. Um . . .yeah. Chained furry chick. We are just hit all the demographics, aren’t we? Seriously, Cheetara’s old uniform has been torn so much that it is now a 2-piece bikini. 

     The mutants fight amongst themselves about punishing Cheetara as she is defiant against them, including spitting in Vutureman’s face. Snarf comes in as a distraction as Panthro and Lion-O free Tygra and then the 3 proceed on to fight against the 4 mutants to free Cheetara. The Thundercats beat them down and free Cheetara. When Lion-O says he is glad to see her, she decks him in his jaw and starts to walk off. And the Thundercats did NOT kill The Mutants. I repeat, the Thundercats did NOT kill the mutants.

            Mumm-Ra says it is time to finish things up so he decides to send out Wily Kat and use him to lure the Thundercats to him. WilyKat agrees without hesitation. Well DAMN.  To make his ruse convincing to the others, Wily Kat cuts himself several times in order to appear hurt. When Mumm-Ra tells Wily Kit of her brother’s acceptance to the plan, she tries to attack him. And fails. When we get back to the Thundercats, Cheetara demands of Lion-O why it took so long for him to get back. Lion-O explains that while 5 years passed in the book, it should have been only a week or so on Thundera. He asks why no one went to get the Key and get him from the Book of Omens. Cheetara slugs him again and screams cause that they were ordered by him not to get him. And Snarf, yes Snarf, acts like the voice of reason to stop the two from arguing. Lion-O takes responsibility for what happened and says he will make up for it now. When Tygra asks his plan, Wily Kat stumbles into the room. Oh . . . how convenient. Wily Kat tells them of a way into Mumm-Ra’s pyramid and that Wily Kit is there and insists that the time for battle is now, not latter. Cheetara backs him up stating that holding back was what cost them Thundera in the first place. Mumm-Ra watches this in his pool with a smile, preparing for the return of the Thundercats. One of his preparations is giving the Mutants new power from the Ancient Spirits of Evil in order to battle the group.

            The Thundercats go into Mumm-Ra’s pyramid and defeat some guards. They make it to Mumm-Ra’s throne room and Wily Kat seemingly charges at Mumm-Ra, much to Lion-O’s dismay. Yet when Mumm-Ra tells the Thundercats that Wily Kat is just returning to his master, the Thundercats are awestruck. Cheetara yells that Wily Kat is no better than Grune, and for those who don’t watch the show, Grune is the greatest traitor in the history of Thundera. Congrats Wily Kat!  And what does the traitor get for his trouble; why Cheetara trying to beat the hell of him . . . till Mumm-Ra saves him. Wait . . . what? Mumm-Ra, in his infinite wisdom, then turns to Wily Kat and seemingly kills him in front of everyone. Wily Kit cries at the “death” of her brother while the “magically powered” Mutants emerge with Mumm-Ra.

            The Thundercats take on the newly powered Mutants, yet the anger of the Thundercats surpasses any strength that Mumm-Ra gave the Mutants. Wily Kit frees herself of Mumm-Ra at last and helps the others finish taking down the Mutants with Lion-O handling Slithe solo and very quickly. Finally, we see Mumm-Ra transform, doing the famous speech as he does. Once he finishes, Mumm-Ra just sits and waits for Lion-O casually as if they are about to have tea. Seriously, he does. Lion-O and Mumm-Ra spat verbage for a bit till it comes down to a battle. Mumm-Ra mocks Lion-O stating that he’s done a great job with the planet since the Lord of the Thundercats have been away and that once he has the Sword of Omens, the entire universe will be at his feet . . .blah, blah, blah. Lion-O answers his mock by stating that Mumm-Ra did not need the sword in order to rape and torture his planet. So Lion-O decides that the best course of action against Mumm-Ra is stab the Sword of Omens into the ground to beat Mumm-Ra with his bare fists. WTF?!

            Lion-O and Mumm-Ra proceed to have a battle and honestly, Lion-O is kicking the ancient wizard’s booty. In hand to hand, Lion-O beats the wizard off his feet, demanding him to stand up so they can finish this. Mumm-Ra though grabs a foot and slips him onto his back. Mumm-Ra stands up . . . now with the Sword of Plundarr . . . ready to kill Lion-O when Panthro slugs the hell out of Mumm-Ra. Panthro then pins Mumm-Ra’s arms back and Lion-O then punches the symbol on Mumm-Ra’s chest really hard. Mumm-Ra turns to dust and the day is won.

            Lion-O confirms that Mumm-Ra is not dead and that they have a lot of work to do and that it is his fault. Snarf being the voice of logic, tells that this point they have to move on. Lion-O and the others agree, saying they will defeat Mumm-Ra for good and liberate the planet. After the Thundercats leave, Mumm-Ra reemerges from the pile of dust. Mumm-Ra mocks Lion-O for his speeches then reveals that Wily Kat is not dead, merely teleported elsewhere, thus ending the miniseries.

CLASH TACTICS

            You know. Honestly, I did not think I would get through this whole thing. I know I was making references and comments during the story. I hope you laughed. To me though, this means there are some problems in terms of story and characterization for me. Now, not to say that this miniseries was not entertaining. In the spirit of the show, it captured it very well. Issues 3-5 felt like episodes of the show, like a new season after the end of the end of the original Thundercats cartoon. And that is both a good & bad thing.

            In terms of writing, the story and characterizations had some donut holes in them. Snarf was captured perfectly. Wily Kat, Wily Kat and the Mutants were all excellent characterizations were spot on and believable from the stand point of their characters in the cartoon and the incidents that they have gone through to get to where they are in this story.  Mumm-Ra was kind of in between, besides a couple of moments of derp, Mumm-Ra was constistently a bastard that you wanted to see dead more and more throughout the miniseries. Yet his 2 major derps make him laughable; the first is actually allowing Lion-O return and reform the Thundercats out of boredom. The second I will get to when we discuss the Lord of the Thundercats cause it is during their battle.

            No. My problems are the main 4 Thundercats. Tygra actually does have character in the cartoon and in other comics. Here . . . you could have replaced him with one of the other 3 Thundercats (Bengali, Pumyra & Lynx-O) and it would have changed NOTHING.  Seriously, the majority of the miniseries, Tygra is not featured or covered in a hood. Tygra has little to no baring on the story at all. Why was he added? Pretty much because he was one of the original Thundercats and it felt very stuck in there. For the love, Snarf is more important than Tygra was in the miniseries.

            Cheetara was almost spot on, especially for what had happened to her and what she had endured, which was never fully detailed. We can just assume. This is the only instance that I am ok with that. Cheetara was now a no nonsense kind of Thundercat. Her demanding an explanation from Lion-O was great. Yet, she seemed very quick to drop it.

            Panthro and Lion-O seem to have the same problem . . . consistency. Lion-O opened up in the first 2 issue as a bad ass, even killing 2 Thunderians and a few mutants in those issues. Panthro seemed just as ferocious, despite his tearfulness at Lion-O’s return. Now, making them both pretty violent and badass, taking little crap is fine. Yet, when it came to their bane of existence, Mumm-ra . . . neither of them go in for the kill? WHAT?! I call bullshit! You don’t build up characters who have very clear, defined reasons for killing someone, show them killing others with no problem and seemingly no remorse, then let the person you want to kill get off; even when you know they are still alive. For Jaga, Lion-O put down the Sword of Omens and proceeded to beat the hell out of Mumm-Ra with bare hands. WHY?! If you are gonna kill him, then frelling kill him. You don’t stab to the ground the very think that the villain wants and then begin to beat him up. Plus, why does said villain NOT go grab the damn sword once he swept Lion-O to the ground. You know, the thing that he wants so badly?

            Gilmore did good build up with the characters but there were just so many let downs. One after the other and it was beginning to take away from the story. Lion-O’s first appearance in the book is so epic and badass and by the time we get to the final battle, seeing what we see is such a let down. Which is another issue I have with the story; it is NOT that accessible to new readers.

            This miniseries is definitely more for old fans. And while I definitely see attempts to bring in new fans: the 5 year gap, Lion-O’s new costume, new attitudes from the Thundercats and visiting Thundera as it is now, it was laced with way too much more of nostalgia that it bogged down the story. There was so much of what happened told to us by Mumm-Ra, it was kinda of sad. And while a little bit of it was not bad, like in the first issue, after a while it was messing with the stories flow. Gilmore failed to make us truly understand or care about the characters, especially for new readers. There are ways to sell nostalgia and still make it new enough for new fans to enjoy. This failed at that.

            And remember I said inconsistencies? Well, there are not art inconsistencies too. But not because of the artists. For the writer or editor. Throughout the book, many of the readers are left with these whole think for yourself moments; while most characters in the book we were either shown or told what happens. We get mentioned that something horrible happened to Bengali. We never see or told what. We are NEVER told of Pumyra or Lynx-O. They were Thundercats which means they were fighting alongside the rest of them. WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY?!  Also, a prime example, Mumm-Ra suddenly has his sword when he knocks down Lion-O during the final battle in the miniseries. Then Panthro decks him and we never see what happens to the sword cause Mumm-Ra does not have it again. No clue that it disappeared just as weird as it appeared. Are you kidding me?! This is not the only instance of this lack of explanation occurring but it is certainly the biggest offender during the miniseries.

            Artistically, Ed Benes does a great job with making everyone look much like their cartoon counterpart and more. The new Lion-O uniform is awesome and adds to his more mature, manly persona. Any bits from the cartoon that he added were well done. The inking was good too but there is a slight shift between inkers that is noticeable. Rob Lea’s inking seemed hurried the closer it got to the end of the miniseries, as he inked 3-5 of The Return. Meanwhile, Joe Pimentel’s inks really gave a bit more life to Benes work. Lea did the same in issue 3 but it seemed to degrade some by 4 & 5. I almost get a feeling that there were last minute changes or issues running late with the way the art and story seemed to kind of hurry a little at the end. Yet, artistically, it is a good work. Not Benes best but not his worse either. Still, a real treat to see them done in this fashion.

            Overall, while the art is good and will keep your eyes engaged, the story just has a lot of holes. While it is an interesting story, the impact is lessened by story inconsistencies. The art and story just show us that as it goes along. And while I can see the attempt to draw new and old fans, the lack of consistency in characterization and some small dumb lapses in common sense hurt this more than it should have.

            Because of this, Thundercats: The Return will only rate at a Cruiserweight Contender (a 2 out of 5 ). It has potential but just falls short a bit more than it should.

Thus, the Winner of the Clash between Transformers & Thundercats is Transformers. What do the rest of you think? Write in and let me know. Whoever gets the most votes moves on to our summer Tournament. 

Next Week: TEAM BOOK MONTH BEGINS!