Desperate Girl
by Darryll B. Carter
Cover Art by
Christopher Rice,
Darryll B. Carter
ONI logo by
Darryll B. Carter
ONI created by
Darryll B. Carter
Panel One
This series of panels should be
from a side scroll view. Show a night view of a city reminiscent of Las Vegas
crossed with Coruscant through the windows of a skyscraper office. These are floor
to ceiling windows. Just focus on the window, don’t bother to show any of the
office.
Panel Two
Same view. A female scientist, Kate,
struggles into panel from the right. Kate looks just like Karen, they’re twins;
except Kate is a redhead and wears glasses. She’s wearing her glasses, a white
blood stained lab coat, a pink camisole with one strap broken and her black
skirt is ripped on the side. She’s holding her arm as if it is wounded. She’s
dragging that arm against the window leaving a blood smear trail.
Panel Three
Same view. Kate should now be on
her way off panel (left). Kate’s blood smear begins to pull in the opposite direction
to the center of the window. Think of water being pulled by a vacuum. In the
upper right corner; have a menacing hellhound type creature stalking into the
panel, walking on the window.
Panel Four
Same view. Kate is out of panel. The window crawling
hellhound is well on his way off panel following Kate. He’s now joined by a
swarm of hell hounds running on the ground after Kate. The blood travelling
toward the center of the window is on its way to forming a menacing pair of
eyes and a maniacal grin.
Panel Five
The hell hounds are out of panel. The
window darkens and the set of red eyes are formed.
Panel Six
Full black panel with only the
blood assembled maniacal face.
Page Two
Panel One
Camera should be on a slant. Kate
enters a dark room. The only thing that should be seen is the light from the
hallway, as she shuts the door and the shine of her glasses.
Panel Two
Close shot of her hand locking the
knob.
SFX- click
Panel Three
Another close shot of her hands
locking the top bolt on the door.
SFX- shunk
Panel Four
She pushes a nearby couch in front
of the door.
SFX- ERRRRRRNNN
Panel Five
Kate begins to pull out a chair in
front of a computer. The light from the computer is shining on her. It is the only light source in the room.
There is another set of windows behind the desk chair.
Kate- I hope you
get this Karen…
Panel Six
Kate is sitting at the computer
typing with a focused look on her face. Behind her, on the windows, the
hellhounds begin to converge on her.
Kate- You may be
our last hope.
Page Three
Panel One
Straight
shot from the shoulder up of Karen. She’s a brunette short hair, petite. She looks
a lot like Jenny Lorenzo. She’s wearing a black hat that says Space Bean Coffee
and a green apron. She looks very agitated.
Karen Caption- Are you #*#$%#*%
serious?
Karen- Are you
#*#$&%@ serious?
Panel Two
Side
shot. Karen is actually behind the counter facing a guy in a hoodie, James, who
has his arms around a very attractive woman, Cosmo. Karen is slamming her hand down on
the counter with a coffee in the other hand. People around the three are
shocked by the force of the slam. Karen is causing a scene. James, is
a text book definition of what a nerd looks like. He is somewhere between
George McFly, pre Marty’s trip to 1955 and Dexter, the alter ego of Freakazoid.
This girl is a textbook blonde cheerleader and she’s about a foot taller than
James. He’s short.
Karen-
You’re leaving me for Cosmobitch?
Cosmo-
Cosmochick.
Karen-
Shut the #*#$ up.
Karen Cap- She
says one more thing and this coffee’s in her face.
Karen- Are you #*#$&%@
serious?
James-
Karen, things just weren’t working out. And Cosmo is… well, better.
Panel Three
Karen
is facepalming and shaking her head. James grins in creepy manner while Cosmo
is checking out the menu above and behind Karen’s head. Like in any fast food
place.
James-
Cosmo is open to having an open relationship. If you wanted to join us…
Cosmo-
Can I have a Tripple Mocha Latè?
Karen
Cap- That’s it.
` Panel Four
This
moment should look fairly epic. Karen is pissed and she’s pulling her hand back
to toss this hot cup of coffee at James and Cosmo. This shot is heavy on anticipation.
Karen- Here’s your @#@&$!% latè!
Page Four
Panel One
Headshot
of Karen sitting in the office getting berated by her boss who is off panel in
the foreground. She is struggling to keep a straight face; anger is battling
her composure.
Karen Cap- That was a horrible idea in hindsight.
Boss- You’re fired! What the hell possessed you to throw a scalding hot
coffee in a customer’s face!? If they press charges we won’t be held
accountable. Get out of here!
Karen Cap- How the hell am I
gonna pay the rent now?
Panel Two
Karen
storms out the coffee shop front door throwing her hat on the ground. She’s
wearing an open leather jacket over her clothes now with a yellow motorcycle
helmet in her hand. The area outside is visually a typical New York City scene; traffic is going by, tall buildings and skyscrapers in the distance.
Karen- Coffee tastes like dog
shit anyway!
Karen
Cap- That’s right Karen. Vent.
Panel Three
She
hops on her yellow vespa and puts on her helmet and goggles.
Panel Four
Side
scroll view as she floors it down the city street on her vespa.
She passes a parked cop car. One of the police officers spits out his coffee.
SFX-
Vroooooommm
Karen
Cap- Feel the speed releasing your stress. Woosah.
Panel Five
Same
view, different scenery to show the progression. She’s pulled over and the cops
are writing her a ticket.
Karen
Cap- This day is such bullshit…
Page Five
Panel One
She pulls up outside her apartment on
her vespa. It is night now. Her apartment looks like a New York Brownstone. On the door to her apartment there is a pink eviction notice.
Karen
Cap- Finally home.
Panel Two
She takes off her helmet and holds
it in her hands as she looks to the side at her apartment door. She’s calmer
now. Her face has regained its composure.
Karen
Cap- We just go inside kick back. Farm some gold. Farm till our eyes bleed.
Cause selling gold is going to be my only income for awhile…
Panel Three
Her face freaks the out. Like
“WTF?” Her eyes widen in shock and her mouth is agape.
Karen
Cap- What the @#$# is that???
Panel Four
This is a tight shot of just the pink
eviction notice taped to the door. Show the address numbers; 669, but have the
nine swing down hanging by its tail upside down so it reads, 666.
Karen- Eviction notice? What the #@#@ man…
Panel Five
She loses it again, overcome with
anger and crushes the notice in her hand.
Karen-
That little shit didn’t pay his half of the rent before he peaced out?!?
Karen
Cap- All will be well Karen. Just get inside.
Page Six
Panel One
She makes her way inside the
apartment to a foyer. She ascends the stair case and opens another door.
Karen
Cap- Just leave reality, all this bad mojo and all the-
Karen-
bullshit!
Karen
Cap- behind.
Panel Two
She opens the front door and turns
on the lights to see a very bare living room. The only thing left is a floor
lamp in the corner, some bras on the floor and a desk with her
desktop pc on it. Her eyes narrow but she keeps a straight face.
Karen-
There is nothing left that can surprise me today.
Panel Three
She sits her helmet down on her
desk on top of a past due electric bill and pulls out a chair to sit down. The
focus of this panel should be on the electric bill. It should be a close shot
that only really needs to include her hand putting down the helmet and the
other pulling out the chair.
Karen-
Least he had the decency to leave my tower alone.
Panel Four/Five/Six
These are small panels. Her hand
pushing the power button to the desktop.
Panel Five
Her hand pushing the power button
to the desktop.
Karen-
Okay…?
Panel Six
She jams her finger into the power
button with considerable force.
Karen-
What the #@%$?!
Panel Seven
She turns the desktop around to
find the power supply unit is missing.
Karen-
That SOB took my PSU?
Panel Eight
She takes the cover off to find her
entire desktop has been gutted.
Karen-
He took everything!?!?!?
Page Seven
Panel One
The desktop tower is flying through
the window. Should be a beautiful scene of destruction shattered glass from the
window should still be in panel falling.
SFX-
Crrrrrasssssssh!
Panel Two
She’s standing with her body still
in the position from the throw in the center of the living room floor. She
angry and breathing hard as if physically venting her outrage.
Karen Cap- Okay, in hindsight- that
wasn’t really the best idea.
Panel Three
Panel is totally black.
SFX(Karen)-
Sigh.
Panel Four
This panel is still mostly black. Light
from her cell phone starts glowing in her pocket. It adds a little light around
her leg revealing some details but very little.
Karen-
This better be Morpheus with that red pill.
Panel Five
She’s holding the phone in her
hand. Phone should show the following messages (top to bottom); KNovak@odatron.net -Subject: no subject,
ECECO Energy- Subject: Your Bill is Past Due, Premier Reality MMORPG- Subject:
Cosmochick69 Wants to Be Your Friend.
The panel should focus on the phone.
Karen-
KNovak@odatron?
Karen
Cap- Kate?
Page Eight
Panel One
Karen
throws a few things in a duffle bag, clothes and toiletries, using the
flashlight app on her phone to see. The app light is a substantial lightsource.
Email Cap- Karen it’s me, Kate.
I know we haven’t spoken in a long time. Since I left.
Panel Two
Karen
grabs some game cases, a Dreamcast looking console with controllers, and a
Pandora Construct book and puts it in a book bag.
Email Cap- And I’m sorry about
that. But I really need your help and you’re the only one who can help me.
Panel Three
It’s
the dead of night now. Karen is sitting on her parked Vespa with the back
loaded up with her bags. She puts on her helmet and goggles. In the distance
behind her there is a black four door sedan with black tinted windows.
Karen- Kate, what the hell have
you gotten into?
Panel Four
Karen
pulls off and the black sedan follows her. The emphasis in this panel should be
on the sedan, a subtle emphasis.
Email Cap- It’s not safe to give
the specifics through this email.
Panel Five
Karen
rolls into the Lincoln Tunnel, traffic is light. The tunnel is the star of this
panel. It should be showcased along with the scenery.
Email Cap- Just come to my
apartment in Solheim and I’ll explain everything.
Karen Cap- Solheim, the city of
tomorrow. I’ve heard of it. Revolutionary city with revolutionary tech. Top
notch nextgen shit. GPS says its 1 day and 13 hours.
Panel Six
Same
view as previous panel only with the black sedan entering the tunnel behind Karen.
Email
Cap- Please Karen. You’re my only hope.
Page Nine
Full Page Panel- Karen arrives outside
the city limits and gazes upon Solheim. It’s daytime. The city skyline is clear and it’s massive. Solheim looks like a sci fi city, a cross between
Coruscant and the New York from the Fifth Element during the day. (It looks like Coruscant and Vegas at night.) The city itself is inside a
massive outer wall just like the city of Troy.
Setting
Cap- Solheim, Utah- 2 days and 12hrs later…
Karen
Cap- Solheim, Utah. Sparkling city amidst the sand, plains and Mormons.
Karen-
Holy shit. Okay… I’m impressed.
Page Ten
Panel One
Karen
drives through town admiring the high level tech. Show her watching a
holo-message between a woman and her boss in the park. The woman has like a
holo-screen tablet. The vehicles on the street are more futuristic too.
Panel Two
Karen
leans back to continue catching a glimpse of the holo-conversation, amazed and
mouth agape.
Karen-
They’ve got holoterminals???
Panel Three
Karen
and her vespa pull up onto the sidewalk in front of a building that looks like
it was plucked straight off of a motherboard.
Karen-
This looks like the place.
Panel Four
Her
helmet is resting in her hands, goggles still on, as she stares up at the new
age building.
Karen-
This thing has more in common with the chipset on an MBoard than a building.
Must take mad gold to live here.
Page Eleven
Panel One
The
view of this panel should be an angle from above. Karen steps off an elevator
on the 14th floor. Her goggles are still on her face. As she steps off she turns to look down the
hall. Behind her is a large window. The angle should allow a view of her vespa
parked out front and the black sedan pulling up behind it (the vespa).
Panel Two
Karen
knocks on door 1417. There is a lever mechanism that you find in most hotels,
but no key hole. There is a fingerprint scanner.
Karen- 1417. This is it.
Panel Three
Zoom in
on the fingerprint scanner pad. It has a red light glowing on it.
Karen-No
answer. Hmmm. I wonder.
Panel Four
Same
panel as previous shot with Karen pressing her thumb on the scanner. The light
on the scanner is now green.
SFX- Deet Deet
Panel Five
Karen
steps into an apartment completely devoid of personality. The walls are white;
there is no couch, no furniture, just a huge wooden sword, a desk and a laptop
on it that’s plugged into the wall.
Automated
Voice- Welcome Home Karen.
Karen-
Geez, Kate. Looks a lot like my spot did.
Page Twelve
Panel One
Karen
reaches for the large wooden sword mounted on the wall. She has a grin on her
face. She’s surprised and happy.
Karen- I can’t believe she still
has this…
Panel
Two
This
panel is identical to the previous, except Karen has a subtle surprised look on
her face; her reaction to the sudden arrival of the men that have been tailing
her.
MIB1-
Don’t move.
Karen
Cap- Oh, @#$@.
Panel
Three
Two men
in black suits and shades, think agents from the Matrix or the MIB, stand in
the doorway. One has a silenced gun pointed at her the other is putting on a
pair of disposable gloves. The guy with the gun has a grin on his face, holding his
chin up.
MIB1-
Option One: Cooperate and this’ll go
smoothly. Easy.
MIB2
(with the gun)- Option Two: You don’t
want Option Two.
MIB1-
Where’s the DG-IX?
Karen
Cap- What did you get me into Kate?
Panel
Four
Karen
has her hands in the air, she’s distressed. The MIB with the gun steps forward
with his gun extended. He’s irritated.
Karen-
I… I don’t know what that is.
MIB2-
Bullshit. You drove 2,000 miles to get here without a moment’s notice! You know
what we want!
MIB1- Don’t play coy with us Ms. Novak. My partner can be very trigger happy. Now tell us where your
sister hid the DG-IX!
Panel Five
Zoom
shot of Karen’s face, primarily her eyes. Her eyes are looking off to where the
wooden sword rests on the wall.
Karen
Cap- They’re not gonna let me walk out of here. Even If I could give them what
they wanted.
Karen
Cap- What if they’ve done something with Kate?!
Karen-
I have to get out of here!
Page Thirteen
Panel
One
Karen
snatches the wooden sword off of the wall and bashes the MIB with the gun in
the head really hard. She puts her whole soul into it; you can see it in her
face. He buckles from the force.
SFX- (sword impact) Crack!
MIB2-
Ommph!
Panel
Two
She
baseball slides pass the MIB still in the doorway, with the sword in hand. He
reaches out to grab her as if she was still at full height.
MIB1-
You won’t escape!
Karen-
#$%# that!
Panel
Three
MIB
with the gun is leaning out the doorway bearing his teeth and fires off two
shots at the fleeing Karen down the hall. Emphasis more on the MIB.
MIB2- That
bitch is dead!
SFX- (silenced
gunshots)Ffft! Ffft!
Panel
Four
This
shot is from outside the window. Karen cuts the corner. One bullet goes
whizzing through her hair. Both bullets go through the hallway window.
SFX- (bullets
passing through glass) Pssh! Pssh!
Panel
Five
MIB1
(without the gun) slams MIB2’s gun against the wall.
MIB1-
No! We need her alive remember?! She
can’t lead us to the DG if she’s dead!
Page Fourteen
Panel
One
Karen
darts out of a hallway into another hallway at a cross road. She looks lost.
There is an exit sign on the ceiling toward the bottom of the panel. She still
has the sword.
Karen-
Shit. I’m lost.
Panel
Two
Same
panel, but MIB1 emerges from a hallway at the top of the panel. Karen turns her
head to see him.
MIB1-
I’ve got ‘er. Northeast corridor.
Karen-
@#$#%!
Karen
Cap- @#$#%!
Panel
Three
Karen
is running frantically down the hall with MIB1 chasing her. Their positions in
the panel are; Karen, mid and MIB1 rear.
Panel
Four
Same
panel. They are closer to the foreground now. MIB1 is practically on top of
Karen reaching out for her.
Panel
Five
Same panel.
Karen is in the immediate foreground getting tackled off panel by MIB2.
Page Fifteen
Panel
One
MIB2
and Karen crash through a hallway window. The wooden sword crashes on impact
against the window frame. The DG flies out of the broken sword and through the
window as well. The DG looks like a red and black video card.
SFX- Crasssssh!
Karen Cap- Oh, no…
Panel
Two
Karen
and MIB2 are in free fall; falling with shattered glass, his gun, the broken
sword and the DG outside the apartment building. Both Karen and MIB2 are afraid
and in shock. The DG is in the foreground at the bottom of the panel. It is
activating, the fan is spinning within and it’s glowing a fierce red. Karen is
seemingly grasping for it.
DG-
Emergency Proximity Activation. Makai Change.
Panel
Three
A red
portal, a demon gate, opens from the DG and Karen is falls into it.
Page Sixteen and Seventeen
Henshin
Sequence- Think Sailor Moon crossed with the Schumacher Batman Suit up, and Iron Man Suit up.
Panel
One
ONI’s gauntlets
materialize over Karen’s hands.
DG Cap-
14%
Panel
Two
ONI’s
greaves materialize on to Karen’s legs.
Panel
Three
The DG
becomes ONI’s belt buckle and the belt materializes.
DG Cap-
42%
Panel
Four
Karen
is in free fall like a skydiver with her arms and legs spread out. Her body is
naked, but glowing. Think back to Sailor Moon’s transformation sequence. The environment
she’s falling through is a hellish mix of fire and blazing red energy.
Panel
Five
ONI’s
torso armor materializes on to Karen’s body.
DG Cap-
70%
Panel Six
ONI’s
tail skirt materializes over Karen’s butt. Emphasis on the butt.
Panel
Seven
ONI’s
helmet materializes over Karen’s face.
DG Cap-
98%
Page Eighteen
Full
Page Panel
Karen
crashes to the ground Iron Man style creating a small crater in the asphalt.
MIB2 crashes into the roof of his black sedan.
DG-
Transformation Complete.
Page Nineteen
Panel
One
Karen,
now ONI, is excited and hops up with her arms outstretched examining her new
form.
ONI-
No $%#@ way!
Karen
Cap- Nah uh!
ONI-
I’m #$%#&*@ Iron Man!
Panel
Two
Karen’s
face inside the helmet examining her HUD. She’s smiling like a kid on
Christmas.
DG
Cap- Optimizing interface for new user.
DG
Cap- Unable to connect to ONI Network.
DG
Cap- Tasks. Primary Objective; Reboot ONI Network
DG
Cap- You have new messages in your Inbox.
Karen-
Whoa, Whoa wait a minute. First things first…
Page Twenty
Panel
One
MIB1 is
has his back turned to the window Karen and MIB2 crashed out of. He’s holding
two fingers to his ear as if using a radio transmitting device.
MIB1-
We have a new development.
Panel
Two- Splash Panel
ONI
leaps up into view of the window ready to pounce on MIB1. MIB1 turns around in
panic, looking at ONI.
ONI-
Payback’s a bitch!
To Be
Continued Cap
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